How to work with an aggressive chef
Most acutely, probably, the workplace is perceived anger of the boss. The evil of the boss is capable of paralyzing the desire to work for a long time, and the sensations after such conversations are not the most pleasant.
How to secure our nervous system with psychological pressure from the leadership, what to do if the boss constantly shouts, we asked the head of the Moscow psychological training center PsyExLab Galina Tymoshenko, which gave a number of practical recommendations.
If your boss is inclined to uncontrollable anger, carry a notebook and a pen with you. As soon as he starts shouting, politely say: “I’m recording. So … “Your task is to slow down the aggressor’s speech. Ask questions, ask to repeat. As soon as a person realizes that his words are fixed, he begins to control his speech. Which means his level of anger decreases.
At the same time, you can sometimes interrupt too emotional speech: “Slower, please, I’m writing”, “Sorry, I did not quite understand what you mean,” “Please repeat,” “I want to make sure I understand you correctly. ” An angry man begins to think, to formulate his claims more clearly.
Name by name.
For any of us, the most pleasant thing is to hear your name. And sometimes stop an angry person can only multiple appeals to him. If the boss is shouting at you, then calmly, at least three times, and better than seven, call him, interrupting the flow of accusations: “Ivan Ivanovich!” This will help him in the direct sense to come to life.
Such a person as a little child should be distracted. Even if he feels this and says something like “do not interrupt me,” he already realizes that he behaves indecently. But only the pronunciation of the name works in this technique. If you say: “Well, listen to me”, “Yes, I’m just …” – it will cheat even more.
From the point of view of the fly.
If you are satisfied with the separation, and you understand that it is pointless to stop this flow, try to see the situation, for example, from the position of the fly that crawls along the ceiling. Somewhere there, below, some people are fussing, they make a lot of noise, and you have your own cares, their problems and pleasures. Take this cry as the raging of elemental elements outside the window.
With a sash and a panama.
If fear completely paralyzes you, apply this powerful technique. Imagine your opponent, screaming and insulting, dressed in a costume with an expensive tie, but in a ridiculous panamae, tattered sneakers, and in his hands a nugget for catching butterflies.
Remember what kind of comic effect Niculin produces in the Diamond Hand when he says his pathetic monologue: “You are the mother of my children! ..”, strolling in his cowards. You can imagine your boss with the face of a comic artist. To whom is he more like – Fernandel, Louis de Funes, Charlie Chaplin, Vicina or Morgunova? The point is that if some object causes laughter, we can not be afraid of it. But here the main thing – do not laugh in the face of his boss.
Prepare a neutral phrase in advance, for example: “Let’s talk about it later.” And no matter what the boss claims to you, no matter what provocative questions they ask, no matter how trying to hurt your vanity, repeat it all the time: “I understand that you are angry, but let’s talk about it later.” As a rule, after the fourth or fifth replay, the energy of the aggressor dies out: it is necessary to think up new and new arguments, and you repeat the same thing.
In response to the criticism of the authorities, you implicitly agree that they were wrong. And doing this is necessary in a serious, calm tone, which does not allow any words of self-abandonment, not justifying and not resorting to self-abduction. Key phrase: “Maybe I’m wrong”.
For angry attacks of the boss, you can answer: “Yes, perhaps I’m wrong, and I still have something to work on.”
“And what else do I have not?”
This technique is well suited when you are attacked by a sneak peek. Suppose they criticize not just, but hints. Women often resort to this method of hidden aggression: “By the way, somebody does not hurry at all to work …”, “And some people prefer to transfer part of the affairs to colleagues …”
If you are sure that it is about you, you can react in two ways. For example, pretend to be thick-skinned and “do not understand” what they mean by you. Or, on the contrary, after each such hairpin, to ask: “And what else do I not? And what else am I wrong? “Try to pronounce these words without irony, without sarcasm, in a completely neutral tone. The aggressor will understand that you have unraveled his intention and are not going to become the victim of his game.
“And you will be cured …”
Imagine that you are a psychiatrist or a biologist who studies the habits of wild animals. And, on the basis of this role, observe the manifestation of the wrath of your boss. Notice for yourself how much his face was reddened, how shiny the eyes are, what poses he takes to frighten you. In this way, you are abstracted from the aggression directed towards you, which means that you also reduce your level of anxiety. Psychologists studying